I was talking with a friend recently about when we think our daughters will get their first phone. They’re in 4th grade, and some of their friends already have them. The conversation quickly veered into “when we’ll have to, because their friends do” instead of “what’s best for our kids’ development and mental health.” Most parents would probably agree: less phone time is better. Yet here we are, nudged toward decisions by the pressure of what everyone else is doing.

Systemized living—and a near-religious commitment to efficiency—govern nearly every part of my life. It kinda has to. I’m raising two kids, managing three businesses, and navigating the red tape of healthcare and insurance at 41. If something doesn’t have a system tied to it, it probably doesn’t happen. My systems bring order, predictability, control, safety, and success. They keep the chaos in check.

But it begs the question: can living with this kind of structured focus come at a cost?

From the vault….seven years ago:

I told my two year old daughter yesterday "pay attention to me". I like to think she's pretty smart so naturally she stopped talking and looked at me. It's an important lesson I thought  -  I remember my parents telling it to me as a kid.  Later in the day she locked eyes with her three year old cousin and said "pay attention to me!" She didn't have anything  important to follow the demand up with.  Granted she's only two but still I thought "what have I done?".  Turns out it's much easier to demand the attention of others than it is to pay attention to the impact we have on them. I've still got 16 years to impart that wisdom on my little girl.